Site for a great home haunt book

Saturday, August 14, 2010


  • you're pestered all year by kids who want to know what the theme for THIS year is.
  • you find yourself thinking that one corpse is more attractive than another.
  • you get more excited over a fog machine than a dirty movie.
  • you have more help at your haunt than necessary for an old-fashioned barn raising.
  • you have more than ten sound effect CD's.
  • you have names for the skeletons in your closet.
  • you play spooky music all year round.
  • you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse's birthday, Christmas or anniversary.
  • you try to make Fido look like a hellhound every Halloween.
  • your neighbors avoid you a full month before Halloween.
  • your garage, basement and attic contain nothing but Halloween props.
  • the only candelabra you own is in a spider web motif.
  • there is a monster under your bed because your attic/basement/garage is full.
  • your electric bill higher in October than in December.
  • the family dog ignores masked individuals breaking into your house.
  • instead of giving your child a cat or dog, you give them a gargoyle to play with.
  • the guy at the paint counter at the hardware store sees you coming and starts stacking gallon cans of flat black on the counter.
  • you go to "Goth Night" at a local club, armed with a pocketful of "volunteer recruitment" flyers.
  • you can't watch a horror movie without jotting down ideas every two minutes.
  • you're nervous about taking rolls of film in to be developed, for fear the police might show up at your house looking for the corpses.
  • you have a room in your house reserved for special props/projects, and won't allow anyone in there because it'll "spoil the Halloween surprise!"
  • people refuse to walk into your house at night.
  • people refuse to walk into your house in broad daylight!
  • you have a customized license plate that has something to do with Halloween.
  • you start actually setting up your yard haunt in August...
  • you judge homes by how well a haunt could be set up in them.
  • your toddler's first words are "TRICK OR TREAT!"
  • it's not uncommon to see a "Barbie" doll hanging in a noose in you're daughters room.
  • your teenager wants his/her "own" coffin....
I found this a few years ago and copied it to a word doc... I don't remember where I found this or who wrote this, but it made me chuckle. I came across it while cleaning some files and thought I'd share it...

Happy Haunting!!!!

1 comment:

  1. #4 is particularly truthfull for the Davis Graveyard. Every weekend there are at least 4 or 5 card parked out front! Looks like someone in the neighborhood is having a party! No...just the Davis' working on Halloween :)

    Very nice list!